The Woodchuck Tongue Twister: A Logical Solution
|
“Woodchuck” is simply a nickname for the groundhog (“Marmota monax” species), which is also known as “land beaver” or “whistle pig” (from the warning whistle they make to alert their brethren to danger). The name is taken from the indigenous North American Algonquian word “wuchak,” which refers to members of the marmot family, and therefore has absolutely nothing to do with wood. However…
THE WOOD
Woodchucks are lowland creatures that are frequently seen all over North America, specifically the plains of the United States, southern Alaska, and a few western Canadian provinces. They prefer cultivated farms and grassy clearings, but they also like the edges of wooded areas in which to built their underground dens. Therefore, it is possible that wood will be in abundance.
THE CHUCK
In American English, the word “chuck,” when used as verb, most often means one of two things:
- To throw or toss (i.e. “Sarah chucked the Frisbee far across the field.”)
- To discard or reject (i.e. “Ben chucked the broken plate into the trash.”)
There are other definitions, but let’s stick with these to keep our argument simple. If we use either of the aforementioned definitions, this writer immediately envisions a short, fat, beaver-looking animal wandering the forest, throwing pieces of wood hither and yon. While this is an amusing scene to some, the originator of the woodchuck riddle was probably thinking more along the lines of “chuck” representing the verb “eat” or possibly “carve.” The woodchuck was apparently likened to a beaver, and as such, was (mistakenly) expected to use the wood as part of the woodchuck’s den.
SCIENTIFIC PRESUMPTIONS
From this point on, we need to make a few more assumptions. First, as the average weight of a healthy, young woodchuck is about 10 pounds, let’s assume that said woodchuck is able to cut down and lift pieces of wood approximating this weight. This concept follows the theory that, generally, an animal can lift and carry its own body weight.
Also, our average woodchuck can consume as much as about 2000 calories per day derived from lettuce, corn, spinach, peas, squash, cucumbers, alfalfa, clover, oats, and other vegetables, grains, and fruits, most scavenged from farm crops. This means that the woodchuck would be able to chuck a pretty hefty amount of wood, naturally using up his or her daily caloric intake before having to rest.
However, assuming that each cut piece of wood would demand about four calories of woodchuck energy, and knowing that animals generally have a short attention span, the woodchuck might retire for the day after an initial workout. He or she could resume chucking later on, but would still need to retain calories for normal activities until the next day, including some calories to burn in order to keep warm at night. Also, if the wood is too dense, such as with an oak or maple tree, the woodchuck may become frustrated and move on to another, “softer” tree. Either way, let’s assume that he or she would burn about 300 calories.
WOODCHUCK MATH
So, plugging these figures into a formula, we could figure that a woodchuck could chuck 75 10-pound pieces of wood in a day if it could, indeed, chuck wood. However, this amount would be unattainable because by the time a woodchuck chucked this much wood, he or she may have attracted the attention of a red fox and been eaten. Other possible predators are the bobcat, cougar, coyote, mountain lion, wolf, and human hunter. Woodchucks are excellent swimmers and climbers, though, and our sample woodchuck may have escaped, if the chucking didn’t leave it too tired to run, climb, or swim.
Final answer: It all depends on how quietly the woodchuck chucks, how much energy it expends, and how close the nearest red fox is.
|
|